50 HILARIOUS QUESTIONS ON YAHOO! ANSWERS

50. SOMEONE SCANNED A MIRROR WITH THE HOPES OF TURNING A COMPUTER MONITOR INTO A MIRROR.
Question from Wekweti: How turn computer monitor into mirror? [Link]
Hi. Does anyone know if it’s possible to use a background that would essentially turn my computer monitor into a mirror? Scanning a mirror doesn’t work.
Response from scott:
This is funny on so many levels. I can’t believe you attempted to scan a mirror!
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49. SAY WHAT? YOU NEED A COMPUTER TO USE THE INTERNET?
Question from AB: I sold my only computer to pay for internet connection, how can i access internet without a computer, now? [Link]
I sold my only computer on craiglist in order to get enough money to pay for my internet connection but now i can seem to figure out how to make my internet connection work without a computer. How do i use my internet connection?
Response from Hawaiian Eskimo:
Put the cable in your mouth and start humming the dial up dial noise to connect.
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48. WHO VOLUNTARILY BREAKS THEIR OWN THUMB?
Question from Yulia12: How can i break my thumb more? [Link]
i thought i broke my thumb………so i told everyone i was getting a cast……..i want a cast.i went to the docters but they said it wasn broken so i need to get a cast before i go to school on wednesday. help me!! and please dont tell me to just tell them the truth!!
Response from Zack:
Smash your it with a hammer to weaken it then just hank on it really hard.
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47. LOLED AT THE RESPONSE
Question from j c: When I drink alcohol I always feel sad? [Link]
I will feel happy and great all day but when I drink I start to feel sad. I don’t show it and talk about it but I feel it. I’m not depressed or anything so Is there a reason for this?
Response from cognitively_dislocated:
You aren’t drinking enough.
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46. WORST TRANSACTION EVER!
Question from jimbo114: I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back? [Link]
Response from RichardFitzentite:
I once sold my house so I could pay my mortgage, so I totally know what you are going through.  It’s hard out here for a pimp.
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45. THE WAY THIS PERSON ASKED THE QUESTION IS THE EXACT REASON WHY PEOPLE NEED SCHOOLING.
Question from razz: Why are there school? [Link]
is a point to it?
Response from Guy Incognito:
Me fail English? That’s unpossible.
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44. SARCASTIC RESPONSE TO A LEGIT QUESTION. LOVE IT.
Question from lucy f: Can you freeze guacamole? [Link]
Response from Alex:
Yes of course you can. The trouble is getting the guaca mole in to the container ……. the guaca mole is a tricky little fella and they can give a really nasty bite. Suggest you wear gloves. Also you do realise that guaca moles are an endangered species. Back in the old days in Mexico when they first started eating guacas they were plentiful, but due to the large demand in European restaraunts they are sadly in decline. There has been talk of farming guacas, but no one can get the little bleeders to mate in capativity, so the future of the guaca mole is sadly under real threat. I am most intrigued where you got your guaca from …. you do know that you have to have a licence to import them I hope. Black market guacas tend to have been mistreated and this can seriously effect the flavour, so while it may be tempting to buy on the street ….. use caution. I have even heard cases of unscrupulous dealers taking common garden moles, spraying them green and passing them off as guacas, so please do be careful.
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43. I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE YELLING ABOUT!
Question from Carlton V: HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPS LOCK? [Link]
I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE MAD BECAUSE THEY THINK I AM SHOUTING AT THEM OVER THE INTERNET. THIS PROBLEM IS LITERALLY RUINING MY LIFE AND TEARING MY FAMILY APART. I JUST WANT TO BE WHOLE AGAIN. PLEASE HELP!!
Response from Jon D:
ITS FOREVER IRREVERSIBLE, THATS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME
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42. THIS GUY’S RESPONSE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I’M IN THE MATRIX.
Question from Silent Rumors: If you die, what happens to your Myspace? [Link]
Like if you die does your Myspace just delete itself or does a friend do it? Or does it just sit there unattended?
Response from el chupacabra:
It deletes itself. You see when you die a little microchip goes off in your brain and instantly deactivates any accounts you may have. They are inserted a few months after birth, everyone has them.
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41. I’M IMPRESSED WITH JIM’S RESPONSE.  HE SEEMS TO KNOW HIS S**T.
Question from ————-: Can a Jedi lightsaber cut through Superman? [Link]
Response from JimM:
Short answer: No.

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40. OH SNAP!  RESPONDER SAID THIS GUY HAS NO BRAIN!
Question from .: If I got a dog, could I teach it how to speak english? [Link]
If I were to get puppy, and try to teach it to speak English, would it be possible for it to learn it? Human babies can learn, so why not dog? Then it could talk to me and have intelligent conversations about what happened at school or at home, and then if it can learn to talk, maybe it can learn to read. I saw a dog on tv that can say a few words, so with enough training, maybe one could learn to talk. Then I’d have a super advanced, human-like dog that I could have intelligent conversations with when I’m bored. Maybe it could also communicate to other dogs, and teach them to talk too. And I could talk it to school, and show it off. Do you think a dog could learn to speak the English language with enough training?
Response from Andrew:
speech comes from the brain, something you seem not to have
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39. DR. JONES GOING ABOVE AND BEYOND.
Question from 2010 & Salvation: Does water boil inside of us when we have 100+ degree fevers? [Link]
Response from Dr. Jones:
No that is not true. If water inside your body was to get hot enough to boil then there is something seriously wrong and you probably wouldn’t be alive. If there are any questions or concerns regarding my response then please feel free to send me an email and I would be more than happy to further assist you.
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38. MAKK PROBABLY DID NOT SEE THIS RESPONSE COMING.
Question from Makk: Are freckles poisinous? [Link]
I heard they explode….
Response from Prof:
They are only poisonous to plants. Do not use your freckles as fertilizer. However they make great cat treats. I feed my cats one or two freckles a day. But my dog thinks they taste like rotting fish. They also make an appetizing garnish for certain ethnic dishes.
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37. I FEEL BAD FOR TAMARA’S SISTER!
Question from Mint: How to become a Mermaid? Is There any Spells to become a Mermaid? [Link]
I need a real answers, and i don’t want any one to say any jokes like: wear a costume. etc…. if somebody says like a stupid and dump answers then am going to report it. Thank you
Response from Tamara:
Be careful, My sister tried it and it backfired, now she has the head and body of a fish with human legs. We keep her in the swimming pool and feed her raw fish.
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36. WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DRESS UP LIKE SANTA
Question from Polly: Is it illegal to impersonate Santa? [Link]
If no, then how do we tell the difference between the real Santa and the wannabes? If yes, then what is the penalty?
Response from Unknown:
Yes it is illegal but ppl do it anyway.The penalty is they have to polish every elfves’ shoes for the rest of the year
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35. I’VE ALWAYS WONDERED WHY CATS HAVE EYE SOCKETS IN THE RIGHT PLACES!
Question from timon g: Why are the holes in cats fur always in the right places for their eyes? [Link]
Response from iggy465:
Hmmmmm, My cat has a couple holes in his fur around his neck, could it be from fighting? I’m going to check him closer to see if he has some extra eyes.
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34. ASHLEY WAS PROBABLY NOT EXPECTING GUYS ON THE INTERNET TO JOIN IN ON THE FOOD-MAKING COMMANDS.
Question from Ashley: When a guy says GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH whats a good comeback? [Link]
He’s sexist and im trying to be witty. and good comebacks?
Response from Alex:
Well you better COMEBACK WITH A GOD DAMN SANDWHICH!
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33. CRAZY GREEN PLANET IS CRAZY IN THE HEAD!
Question from Crazy Green Planet: I just drank a tall cold glass of lemonade and it made me MORE thirsty, am I pregnint? [Link]
Response from Suspension Notice:
I told you I would plant my seed in you! Muahahaha…..
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32. I LIKE TURTLES!
Question from The Handler: I was bitten by a turtle when I was a young lad, should I still drink orange juice? [Link]
I need to know ya’ll. I love to drink that dang OJ. It be tasting very good to me.
Response from THE LIZARD LADY:
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
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31. RUN MUFC, RUN!
Question from MUFC: My house is on fire, what do I do? [Link]
My toast caught on fire and now it is burning the house down. What do I do my parents are not here. Oh god they are going to kill me…
Response from Mr. Carpenter:
Turn the water on in the sink fill your hand up with water and start flinging the water onto the fire
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30. NO FRODO, YOU CANNOT OFFER ME THIS RING!
Question from VIP: Does David blain have super natural powers? [Link]
he is street magician, who fasted for 44 days, slept in ice for 51 hrs,under water 7hrs, made a dead bird fly, broke a glass without touching it, stood on pole of around 50 meters high for 28 hrs…
Response from Kat:
He is actually Gandalf in disguise….
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29. IF SOMEONE ASKED ME ABOUT THE Z AXIS WHEN I SAY WHATS UP, I’D SMACK THEM.
Question from Joey eon: When people say “What’s up?” as a greeting, what should I say? [Link]
“yo” “(h)ey”"nothing…” “Raise the roof!” … trends, yo!
Response from asalamulekum:
1. Ah…. the sky? 2. Oh! …It is addressing us in the vernacular! Does it not realize our sociological superiority? 3. Up as in the Z axis? or up as in status and position in the space-time continuam?
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28. TOD DA MAN NEEDS TO GET HIS MAN CARDS TAKEN AWAY FROM HIM.
Question from Tod da Man: My new wife kind of talked me into putting on her cocktail dress so she could fix the hem! Is this really? [Link]
something husbands regularly do for their wives, if they are close to the same size ? Also does it really help that much to have someone wearing the dress or did she play a prank on me ? She was giggling the whole time as I stood there in the silly dress, slip and bra! Plus her 7 year old daughter wondered in and saw me and was laughing to so I was wondering if this might be a bad thing for her to see?
Response from Babehart:
So you have a cross dressing fetish. Why not just fess up instead of making up stories to post here? (the clincher was the bra, not necessary for dress hemming) There are sites for folks who enjoy dressing dear…enjoy! ?
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27.  OR YOU NEED CHRISTOPHER LLOYD’S DELOREAN
Question from marcstinson: I hate my past how can i change it? [Link]
was on my own for 21 years before i got my girlfriend. i have never been with anyone else but i have done a lot fo stuff that upsets her. i have wanted to be a film director for a long time and used to write film scripts, they all contained realy nasty stuff like sex and rape i also had a lot of films that contained these things. my girlfriend recenttly found these as anyone could imagine she was not happy, i realy wrote some nasty stuff and can not belive what i used to be like, i realy hate my self for what i have done and sometimes i want to kill my self as a way of saying sorry to her. non of the things i wrote ment anything they did not reflect what i wanted they were just scripts. i have told her that i love her more than anything, to me she is the most perfect person in the world and i can not bear to loose her i have waited for some one like her all my life and i do not know how i can apologise enough to her for the things that i have done, i wish that i could change everything that hapend up to meating her but i can not. help
Response from Anna Wells:
Well, to change the past; first you need a black hole…
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26. THE SOUTH HARMON INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY
Question from Will M: Could you name of Party school for Colleges also they have hot chicks? ? [Link]
tell me
Response from ~Chocoesque~:
It’s better if you don’t go to college, besides I doubt you would get in.
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25. CHUCK NORRIS HAS TO MAINTAIN A CONCEALED WEAPON LICENSE IN ALL 50 STATES IN ORDER TO LEGALLY WEAR PANTS.
Question from Arlanymor: What is the best weapon to use to kill time? [Link]
Response from London lady 2010 edition :
a pillow , a duvet and and comfy mattress
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