50 HILARIOUS QUESTIONS ON YAHOO! ANSWERS
Amit Chowdhry | Tuesday January 12, 2010 | 374,202 views| 16 Comments24. ACTUALLY AWKWARD SILENCE IS WHAT YOU HEAR AFTER TELLING YOUR GIRLFRIEND THAT YOU ARE GAY.
Question from happy and proud of it: Is it true that a gay baby is born every time there is an awkward silence? [Link]
Response from glowingstarshine:
Its a load of crock… just like everytime someone looks at porn, a kitten dies. babies are born every minute, their sexual orientation has nothing to do with what is going on in the world at that split second.
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23. LOLED AT THIS RANDOM RESPONSE.
Question from Arlanymor: How do you find the answer if it’s blowing in the wind? [Link]
Response from Lefty:
check me trousers
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22. JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE GRAPES OF WRATH WAS ONLY A BOOK.
Question from real eyes realize real lies: Will i die if i didn’t wash the grapes before i ate them!? [Link]
Response from Will L:
yep you will drop dead
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21. I CAN HAZ BLAME ON FACEBOOK?
Question from K A: How do I contact Facebook about my stolen cat? [Link]
She has been missing since 2007 but now she has been posted on my ex-husbands facebook
Response from Kenny E:
Damn you Facebook!! I always knew that place was evil.
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20. BECOME A RAPPER. DR. DRE NEVER WENT TO MEDICAL SCHOOL.
Question from Don P: How can i become a doctor without going to university? [Link]
i want to become a doctor but i dont have any science courses and i dont want to go to college or univeristy can i just apply at the hosiptal? i want to be the type of doctor that delivers babys to womans and helps people with the cold
Response from Chris:
Get a bachelors degree and photoshop the hell out of it.
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19. THIS QUESTION WAS ACTUALLY PAINFUL TO READ.
Question from gen: What does nailpolish remover do? [Link]
Response from Ryan:
you’ve gotta be ******* kidding me.
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18. AH YES, THE PET ROCK MADE THE GUY A MILLION DOLLARS. I HAD AN IDEA LIKE THAT ONCE… IT WAS A JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS MAT.
Question from Cruz ? – A.F.C: I bought i Cactus last week, n it died lastnite. this made me depressed………..? [Link]
coz it means im less nurturing than a desert 
Response from historywiz:
R.I.P Cactus Last Week- May 12,2009 If i were you i would get a rock i have a rock friend and hes sweet and he talks, and he never dies. They have terrific life spans.
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17. NOW WHAT DO I DO WITH MY LIFE?!
Question from XxIxX: I went to walmart and theres no yugioh cards now what? [Link]
Response from Teja:
get a new hobby?
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16. WAIT A SECOND? LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT… FIFI IS THE GF’S NAME AND ARTEMIS IS THE DOG’S NAME?
Question from Rake: I’ve had my dog for 16 years but my new gf is allergic? [Link]
I met my new gf two nights ago at a club, and I don’t know her last name. She says it’s her or my dog. Do you think I should just take Fifi to the shelter?
Response from Painted Pony:
Yes, FiFi should definitely go to the shelter. She sounds aggressive 
ADD: Yes, those high-kill-rate shelters can be “murder” (pun intended), but, if they can’t rehabilitate her, then chances are good she will be euthanized. Time to start looking for a new gf! ADD: And, she has allergies to boot!!!
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15. ANYTHING THAT WILL GET YOU OFF THE ROAD.
Question from Robyn W: Driving without a license in TN while on probation in another state? [Link]
My license is suspended in MD for a DUI and will be eligible for reinstatement in February. I received a misdemeanor citation for driving without a license in TN, where I now live, however I had not changed my address yet. I am also on probation in the State of MD. What would my penalty be?
Response from Wing of the Dumb Left:
hopefully prison?
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14. WHAT? MOVIES AREN’T REAL?
Question from Thats was he said…: Did 206 actors die while making Saving Private Ryan? [Link]
are you sure about that??? [references IMDb]
Response from Crappy:
Yes. They used real bullets. They wanted it to be realistic.
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13. ADDED TWO RESPONSES BECAUSE BOTH WERE EQUALLY IMPORTANT
Question from Twiggi: What does “haters to the left” mean? [Link]
Response from LadyLynn:
It comes from Beyonce’s song, “To the left, to the left….” meaning “get outta here!”
Response from Jon A:
This term derives its original meaning from the American Revolution. The colonists in America were much opposed to the severe penalties forced upon them by the English. Men were often whipped for not having their wigs covered in a minimum of two layers of powder, and women were whipped for not having at least six children by the age of thirty (two of which were always eligible for foster care).
So much damage was done that by the time Alexander Hamilton was born (1753), every member of the English Navy was said to have “continuously bleeding” hands from handling so many whips. This Alexander Hamilton was of the aristocracy, being born to a wealthy set of parents, and he was well sheltered for a majority of his life. One afternoon, while taking his dog Skippio on a daily stroll, he witnessed the atrocities of the English on a poor woman. This enraged him so much that he ran over and shielded the woman with the body. The soldiers attempted to stop as soon as they recognized him as a member of the high class, but that was after his hand had already been mutilated by the whip full of large shards of glass. Of course, he challenged both men to duels and won. This whippipng incident is why so many portraits of him show him hiding his arm in his jacket, to conceal his “little hand”. He vowed from then on to kill every Englishman that came his way.
During the next year, he secretly signed the Declaration of Independence and formed the first army to include snipers. He put countless hours into the forming of this new style of fighting, and his efforts were well-rewarded.
On the first night of battle, April 19, 1775, Hamilton gave his men one last speech before their sneak attack:
“This, my brothers, is a heightened sense of things. The seaborn breeze, coolly, kissing the sweat at my chest and neck. Gulls cawing, complaining, even as they feast on the thousands of floating dead. The steady breathing of the 300 at my back, ready to die for their country without a moment’s pause. Everyone of you ready, to die. So tonight let us defeat the evil that attacks us! From our left across the sea these men whip our woman and children, but tonight, we slaughter those “Haters to the Left”!”
Without a moments pause, Alexander’s elephants crossed the final stretch of the Appalachian Mountains, and the snipers took their positions. The British were totally caught off-guard. The majority were unarmed aside from their whips which were always fastened to their belts. As the snipers volleyed chunks of lead at the foot-soldiers, the war elephants stampeded toward enemy cannons and provided safe warning as to where the mines on the battlefield were. General Pearwallis forced his men to retreat, only to find the vast ocean full of the American Navy behind them. The attack was so severe for the entire British forces, that Pearwallis surrendered that very evening, but to a general other than Hamilton because of his oath to kill every Englishman he saw.
Alexander Hamilton’s expert military prowess was so revolutionary and phenomenal that he was post-humously dubbed “Alexander the Great”.
His role in American history is unforgettable, and his term for the English as “Haters to the Left” will be remembered in our hearts and minds forever.
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12. TAY ZONDAY? REALLY?
Question from ChloeBelle: What are some good songs to strip to? [Link]
just want to do sumthing special for my husband…up beat from within the past year would be great.
Response from YourMomma:
- The 1812 Overture
- Power Rangers theme (remember to shake your *** everytime it goes “go go power rangers!”)
- My Chemical Romance – Welcome to the Black Parade
- Chocolate Rain – Tay Zonday
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11. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS STUPID PEOPLE, ONLY STUPID QUESTIONS
Question from Lani Lu: How do you make just one word on myspace all caps? [Link]
I am desperate please help me!!
Response from RBX:
Um…. shift key?
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10. THERE’S NO HOPE WITH DOPE.
Question from jumpinjahosafats: Why is police always plants drug on people>? [Link]
Response from Bill G:
why is dopers who not know how to speak English always badmouth and lie about police?
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9. WHAT DO STDs EAT?
Question from gardenbut: My friend has crabs, whats should i feed them? [Link]
my friend got crabs from his girlfriend but has no idea what to feed them . can someone tell me how he can keep the crabs for as long as possible, his name jayden
Response from JJ:
They like dandruff and body lice. Have him transfer the crabs to his facial hair and they will be fine.
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8. CANADIA, EH?
Question from John S: Wat is the countrey canada all about? [Link]
i live in texas and i alweys hear about canada on the tv screen i was just wundering what they speak there and where that countrey is? thank you
Response from New, Emo Lawn! Cuts itself!:
…Wow the american education system really is in crisis
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7. RYAN B MAKES CELLPHONE DESTRUCTION COMPLICATED
Question from You’re leaving me breathless: I was prankcalling someonethey called the cops how do i make it so they cant track my phone? [Link]
help
Response from Ryan B:
1. Get some gasoline, wonder bread, and peanut butter.
2. Cover the phone in the peanut butter and wrap it with the wonder bread like a burrito
3. Submerge the burrito in the gasoline for 30 seconds
4. Light it on fire. Let it sizzle. For good measure, flush it down your toilet.
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6. ATTACK OF THE BEES!
Question from shopperchic: Hey. here’s a question…If I take ‘royal jelly’ as a vitamin supplement-will bee’s be attracted to me? [Link]
Im rather fearful of bee’s but want to take royal jelly ‘cuz of its health benefits-but this is keeping me from takin it..has ne1 heard of people being ‘bothered’ by bee’s by taking this?
Response from sldfkjasdlfkj:
Don’t take royal jelly unless you’re know you aren’t allergic to bees. As soon as royal jelly hits your bloodstream it will permeate your entire body and slowly start to exit through your epidermis. Bees are highly attracted to chemcial signatures in the air. Any bees near you will easily detect the “pheremone” signature you start to exude shortly after digesting royal jelly. Once the bees realize that you’re nothing more than a soft, fleshy fake of the real thing they’re after, they’ll start to mercilessly sting you in a suicidal frenzy.
Best,
Willheim H. Hogglesbottom
Professor of Specious Entomology
Source(s):
www.harvard.edu
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5. SOMEONE IS WILLING TO PAY TO GET AIDS?
Question from Im Pissed: How much would someone have to pay you in order for you to contract AIDS? [Link]
im thinking 500 grand?
Response from lonelyheart:
NOT AN DAMN THING!!
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4. FEBREZE IN THE FACE? REAL CLASSY, FREQUENT ASKER.
Question from Frequent Asker: Ok..need help with a smell asap!!!??????? [Link]
ok i already asked this but a girl in my english class smells super bad and i tried telling her but she refuses 2 listen so i tried spraying her in the face with frebrezz but she just said what the hell and continued 2 stink? any solutions?
Response from traciedoggie:
i know this is going to sound daft but try becoming her freind then a few days later tell her the truth about the smell that she has but do it in a nice way lol
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3. THIS IS LITERALLY THE CRAZIEST PHOBIA I’VE EVER HEARD.
Question from The Girl Next To You: Do you have a phobia of AUTOMATIC TOILETS? [Link]
automatic toilets lmao i was in the restroom when i passed by a stall and one of the toilets flushed themselves It scared the $hit out of me i guess literally but do you have a phobia of automatic toilets?
Response from Captain Oblivious:
OMG I’m TERRRIFIED of them!! When I use them, like at an airport or something, I’m always nervous thinking (is going to flush now…now? NOW?). Why can’t they wait until I’m OFF the seat before going. Then, one time, I went to a THEATER that had auto toilets. I went to go to the bathroom after watching a scary movie…it was completely empty, which freaked me out enough alone. Then, when I went into a stall, I heard a toilet flush, but no one had come in. I was pretty much hyperventilating, then, when I was washing my hands, the thing that holds the seat covers above one of the toilets fell out. I SCREAMED and ran out of the bathroom (luckily, not many people were at the theater, so they hadn’t heard the scream). I HATE auto toilets. I can flush by myself!!
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2. BABY GOT BACK!
Question from curious: Does sitting in chairs actually make your butt bigger? [Link]
My friend told me that a long time ago, but it’s never stopped bugging me. Is it a myth or does sitting really make your butt bigger/flatter?
Response hmmmm?:
I’ve wondered that myself and deduced that there is definitely a correlation: Any professional secretary I’ve ever met (usually in school) had a huge butt even if the rest of her wasn’t that fat.
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1. I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW BABBY WAS FORMED.
Question from Adam F: How is babby formed????? [Link]
how is babby formed? how girl get pragnent?
Response from sandra michigan:
They need to do way instain mother> who kill thier babbys. becuse these babby cant frigth back it was on the news this mroing a mother in ar who had kill her three kids . they are taking the three babby back to new york too lady to rest my pary are with the father who lost his chrilden ; i am truley sorry for your lots
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