70 Of The Weirdest Craigslist Posts
53. Ibis titanium stem–long as a cat’s leg [Link]
Date: 2003-06-30, 11:46PM PDT
I was out riding with my buddies John and Roger–nothing special just another headlands loop, when John turns to me and says, “damn dude that stem is as long as a cat’s leg”. This being a fairly weird thing to say, even for John, I figure a follow up question is in order. “Uhm, I didn’t know you had a cat?”.
“Oh sure, I just love cats. I get a couple new ones every month.”
I’m starting to worry as I’ve been to John’s house and haven’t really noticed any cats hanging around. “Man that’s like 24 cats a year, where do you keep ‘em all?”
Meanwhile Roger sensing that we’re not paying attention takes a flyer off the front as we hit the flat spot on the Conzelman climb. John takes off after him.
I’m thinkin’, “Dudes been eatin’ his cats, gotta be.”
By this time Roger and John have put 100 feet into me and I’m still thinking, “What’s a cat taste like?” When I decide it’s either time to bridge up or time to call the SPCA.
Facts, I need more facts! They’ve just turned left past the tree at the fork, gets a bit steeper here. It’s now or never. I’m starting to come back a bit, yanking on the bars, “hey this stem is nice, bit long though…. long as a cat’s leg”. Coming round the bend past the 15 mph sign and it’s time to kick, but it’s not enough and they still have 5-10 seconds over the top and I’m completely cooked.
“DO IT FOR THE KITTIES. MUST SAVE THE KITTIES!”
Push it over into the big ring and down the back we come. I’m ready now. I’m an avenging silver bullet. Unstoppable. Garg look out for the bunnies crossing the road. It’s not cool to bisect a bunny while trying to rid the world of cat eaters.
At last I’m on Roger’s wheel, I am officially, completely cooked. I come around next to John. “Where the hell do you get off eating all those cats?”, I gasp.