70 Of The Weirdest Craigslist Posts
Amit Chowdhry | Saturday January 30, 2010 | 22,422 views| 1 Comment49. Free, Free, Free!!!!
Date: 2009-05-21, 8:44PM MDT
Ever want a good quality stump you can rest your feet on, relax on, or even eat on? Then we have the best item FOR FREE just for you. Today only come and get your free, newly removed stump. You even get the dirt attached for NO CHARGE. Just cant get any better than this. Please let everyone have a chance for this, serious inquries only. Have a great day, have fun and keep shopping on Craigslist!
48. Yard Swing – Nashville [Link]
Date: 2009-06-08, 10:47AM CDT
Real nice yard swing for sell. Real comfrotable. Might have a few dog hairs on it but they will brush right off. Green all-wheather cover beside fence is included
Tikee torch not included but will sale for 25.00.
47. WANTED: Secret Handshake – $20 – SF Bay Area [Link]
Date: 2001-12-10, 12:55PM PST
3 or 4 step motion preferred, but would be willing to negotiate 5 step shake if FULL demonstration given. Ending with snap a must. Please send e-mail with brief description.
46. Free 1998 BMW M3 – San Diego [Link]
Date: 2008-12-23, 7:41PM PST
Should buff out however if you aren’t the buffing type, probably best to bring a flatbed.
45. Mystery Item – Philadelphia [Link]
Date: 2009-01-02, 10:21AM EST
This was in our yard when we bought the house. We can’t seem to figure out what it is. If you know what it is and want it and can come pick it up you can have it.
44. Evil people I encounter daily – Washington DC [Link]
Date: 2005-03-01, 10:16AM EST
Driving in traffic is just an example of the kinds of people I have to deal with on a regular basis. The attitude I describe here prevails in all aspects of life and interactions between people. Read below and see what I mean when I ask myself “When did people become such bastards?” I may have a scientific explanation for it all. I also may not.
So here you are driving down the road on the way to work. Traffic is heavy, but moving. You get to your exit and traffic backs up a little, so you patiently wait to exit off the highway. You would rather not be stuck in traffic and be running late, but stuff happens. What are you going to do?
AHA! I will tell you what you will do! You will watch in stunned horror as Mr. (or Ms.) Greedy Assmonkey changes his/her personal traffic reality!
As we have learned from String Theory, there are 11 different dimensions of reality. It is possible that we are on a membrane (aka brane) of a stretched out string. We could be barely the smallest distance imaginable from another universe on another brane and never be able to see it or touch it. That is if you are NOT Mr. Assmonkey. If you are Mr. Assmonkey you live in a special universe where you are the almighty King of Traffic, and all traffic rules bend to your whims. And courtesy is not even a concept in your realm.
So, Mr Assmonkey decides that he just cannot wait in traffic any longer. He decides to use his traffic warping powers and he pulls out of the lane. He could be behind or in front of you. It doesn’t matter. As he pulls out he practically causes a crash. He doesn’t care. He is driving a BMW SUV or a Hummer or some other combat luxury vehicle that has never even seen a mud puddle, never mind the great outdoors. This Mr. Assmonkey only drives it because it’s big and expensive and it uses a lot of gas. He won’t get hurt in an accident. He has lots of money and insurance and since the vehicle is so big, it does not need to pass emissions. Besides, in Assmonkeyland, nobody important ever gets injured in an auto accident. There is a big puff of smoke as he pulls out. You can smell the stink of exhaust even with your windows shut and the vents off.
Now Mr. Assmonkey is out of the exit lane – maybe even out of our universe, but he wants to exit now. So he speeds by you and all the others that have been waiting patiently, and cuts back into your lane (and back into your universe) right at the last possible point that he can exit. This causes the person he cut off to hit the brakes and slow down an already congested road to a crawl. Mr. Assmonkey, however, just save 20 minutes by cutting everyone else off. He doesn’t care that he just added more time to everyone else’s commute by slowing traffic further.
Well now all the other assmonkeys from Assmonkeyland see what our Mr. Assmoney has done. They realize that they do not need to be stuck in this universe, and flee to their own personal universes in order to complete this complicated brane leaping maneuver. So they all pull out of the exit lane, and swoop around to cut in. Now traffic is completely fubared. Everyone else suffers. The sad thing is that they get away with it. There are no tickets givin for driving like an assmoney from another universe. And since these people are rewarded for their aggressive behavior they continue to act that way all throughout the day. They saved 20 minutes and caused the rest of our universe’s inhabitants an extra half of an hour of traffic. And they think that they are so clever. I had to start taking an alternate back route to work because I felt so angry and violent seeing this every single day. I was also afraid of being dragged into the Assmonkey universe by accident. I have developed this disdain towards wealthy people of assmonkey decent in expensive cars. I fear that I am turning into some kind of luxury-auto-wealthi-assmonkey-phobe bigot. This is a sad thing to have had happened to me. I have seen too much greed and evil just on the roadways alone. Please, please, please, nobody give me a gun as a gift.
43. Rare vintage pimp cup. This thing is amazing. Holy crap. – Seattle [Link]
Date: 2009-04-11, 4:37PM PDT
Will change your life. Has been passed down from pimp to pimp for generations. Currently being used as a ash tray and/or extremely inaccurate rain gauge. Slight damage from general day-to-day pimping.
42. Thumb tack “Push Pin” Wonderful Item !!! $0.32 – Hudson Valley [Link]
Date: 2009-01-12, 12:17PM EST
I have a really great pushpin for sale. It is blue. Has very little use, and still is somewhat sharp. There is however, a slight bend in the steel shaft. With the proper tools, this could easily be corrected. Very mentionable, despite the minor imperfections of this finely formed blue pushpin, is that it dates to circa 1992′. Where were you durring that year? This pin could really bring some wonderful old memories to light. But if your memories for 1992 were not pleasant, I would say, that is not to worry about, as this pushpin is only appraised and suspected, as circa 1992. So, technicly, this pushpin is a great party starter for any alumni event, or memorial circa 1992. Sure to be a real conversation getter.
The push pin will be carefully packaged in a clear sandwich bag, for protection durring transit, or for display as is. The sandwich bag, while not as special as the pin itself, is also very collectable, and dates to the summer of 2008. For many of us, this was a summer of love. Another clever and noteworthy fact about this pin, is that it was purchased in the state of Florida. and brought to NY by car in 1998-99. Also this pin may have originated from as far away as hong kong or taiwan, so this pin has some serous history, and mileage, by car, and possibly trucks, planes, and boats. How’s that for a pushpin’s history ??!!
The asking price of .32 cents may at first seem high, but is just the asking price, and also a very special and unique item. Ask yourself deeply within what this gently used pushpin could mean to your collection, before haggling price. However cash talks.
The pictures provided are of the actual pin, and are not studio portraits or some random stock photos. Please notice how photogenic this pin is, even with a simple homeowners camera. It also mentionably, as seen in the pics, seems to take on different personalities in different lighting. In the last picture, the pin is shown situated in a cork memo board to show it’s functionality and many years of continued function.
The other pins in the photo are not for sale at this time, however the USPS stamp is. We are presently accepting offers for it. Notice how unobtrusive this pin is , and blends well with other pins on the board. We have two blue ones, so naturally this was our first choice for thinning the collection, and extra cash durring these unique times.
Please contact us to scedule an appropriate time to view this fine push pin. If it seems we’ve made any error in describing the push pin, or you feel you can help us to better describe this wonderful item, please don’t hesitate to assist. We have described this item as honestly and acurately as we can. we are not professional collectors, but have collected many similar items for years, and this one has brought us much joy, as we are certain it will to you and your family. www.youtube.com/watch?v=mi3aLxg2shE
41. I NEED INFO ON THIS PEEPING TOM!!! BEWARE!! – Las Vegas [Link]
Date: 2008-12-04, 10:05AM PST
I NEED HELP IDENTIFYING AND APREHENDING THIS MAN I HAVE CHASED HIM OFF MY PROPERTY 3 TIMES IN THE LAST WEEK HE WAS TAKING A s**t IN MY BUSHES ONCE AND ALSO SAW MY WIFE IN HER UNDERPANTS IF YOU HAVE ANY INFO PLEASE CONTACT ME AT ONCE THANKS
40. Wretched ill-natured panicky Guineas – Pittsburgh [Link]
Date: 2008-11-25, 5:29AM EST
I have more Guinea cock birds than hens, am kicking out the single dudes. One lavender and two “royal purple” birds available. Hatched mid-July. $10 each or $25 for all three. Or will trade for laying hens or possibly some other good-natured poultry, turkeys maybe, no peafowl. Have been free-ranging, now penned in Guinea Alcatraz in my barn.
These birds have been hateful towards my laying pullets, and I do not recommend them if they will share a coop with chickens or other small poultry of other species. Maybe gamecocks. That would be karmic. They aren’t aggressive towards people, cats, or dogs — but then, the people, cats, and dogs around here don’t take crap from birds. They are not tame, and are still convinced after four months that I’m going to eat them in the morning. This is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.
These birds do great tick and insect control, and don’t tear up the garden the way chickens do. Not as filthy as most poultry. They are very noisy. If your neighbor has a barking dog or annoying offspring, these would be fine revenge. If you just find it amusing to see brainless alien freaks that look like old-style football helmets running around on tiny orange legs, they will fit the bill.
Buy my surplus ill-natured Guineas. They are too scrawny for Thanksgiving. The do not have laser beams strapped to their heads.
Popular
