70 Of The Weirdest Craigslist Posts
Amit Chowdhry | Saturday January 30, 2010 | 22,421 views| 1 Comment39. homemade motorcycle – Atlanta [Link]
Date: 2008-11-13, 11:17AM EST
I have a homemade bike me and my brother built many years ago. Runs and drives but the back tire kind of rides sideways. The seat blew out a few years ago and I made do with a sofa cushion, duct tape and a couple of 2x 4′s ( the ultimate fix! ). It runs like a champ but does smoke alot especially if you are hard on the gas. Uses about a quart of oil for each gas fillup. I usually just put the oil directly in the gas as it is going to burn it anyway and that way it is easy. Can’t drive over 12 miles or so at a time as the motor gets red hot and starts loosing power so probably a good bike for someone who drives locally. Does backfire and squeel pretty loud occasionally so I usually wear earplugs of some kind. DOES NOT pass emmissions so would need to be registered in a county without emmisions check. Great first bike otherwise!
38. INTELLIGENT, cultured, 22y/o wm seeking Asian women (pref. Nihonese) – Toronto [Link]
Date: 2008-10-16, 3:29AM EDT
Hello ladies of the internet!
I am here today, as are you, to find the love of my life ideally. Now, I am an introspective and reflective man so over my life I’ve come to realise exactly what I’m looking for in my ideal woman.
Personally, I am 22 years old, my name is Perseus, I am attending U of T in the final year of my Engineering degree, and I am a little on the chubby side. I am a dedicated Green party voter and staunchly opposed to the Conversative hordes dashing themselves against the impregnable Liberal/NDP/Green keep of our fine enlightened city. I am fond of discussing philosophy and the meaning of life over a glass of wine in the ‘even. As hobbies go, I am an avid gamer and enjoy delving into the myriad artistic realities of anim? (the origin of my affinity for Asian culture, which is frankly superior).
You MUST fulfill the following requirements:
- Asian
- Woman
- Aged NO MORE THAN 23
- – and NO LESS THAN 16
- Petite build. Ideally no more than 115 lbs.
- – but no ‘Paris Hilton’ bulimics please! I like my women with some meat on them.
- Like sushi, anim?, and video games.
BONUSES include:
- Japanese heritage
- Large collection of anim? and manga
- Glasses
- Interest in cosplay and roleplaying
- Traditional Ladies’ education
I must stress again that this is for a SERIOUS, long term relationship. Not some ‘fling’ as though I were a boy toy to be tossed aside.
37. Pet roach – Scoochie – Houston [Link]
Date: 2008-10-13, 2:15AM CDT
I am having to part with my pet roach, as I am no longer able to afford to feed him. With the way the economy is going, I am forced to do this. It hurts to let him go, as I have been with him since he was just a larvae. He loves sitting in your hand and watching Jerry Springer, and will sometimes crawl up your pants at night to keep warm. Items included will be his 2 story deluxe shoebox highrise, custom yarn leash, and miniature food and water bowls along with a 6 pack of Coors light, his favorite beer. I will need to interview the prospective caretakers to find the right fit, and a small adoption fee may apply (he is up to date on his shots, and has recently been wormed). Please, help me find Scoochie a forever home!!
36. Light house cleaning needed – Houston [Link]
Date: 2008-09-23, 4:28PM CDT
Need some light house cleaning. I’m pretty busy and not able to clean my apartment so I need someone to do some light work once a week or so. Here are some pictures to give a general idea.
35. Very exciting gravel giveaway – about 1/2 yard – Minneapolis [Link]
Date: 2008-08-26, 9:02AM CDT
Well its about to happen again…it’s going to snow and it will cover the gravel pile in my driveway. I will then be fooled into thinking that I or my wife was too lazy to totally push the snow out of the driveway and cleverly left piled it kind of out of the way.
Not this year! No stinking way! For I am taking action and going the distance! I am saying to the whole world via this posting on craigslist that the pile of gravel is up for grabs! Hey, are you the right person for free gravel?
Things to consider:
-Moving gravel is a great work-out. I’m big and strong today thanks to my gravel moving routine.
-Kids love gravel. I am constantly telling all sorts of kids to get away from my gravel/snow pile. SHOO!
-Go Green. Go gravel.
-Women love gravel. I often look out the window to see my wife looking over the gravel pile and shaking her head in amazement.
-Gravel has staying power. Its has stayed in my drive way for two years!
-Food and drink taste better after moving gravel.
There are more considerations, obviously. But you also need to know that the gravel that will allow to finally finish that project and one-up your neighbors before fall comes is located at:
[ ADDRESS DELETED]
Bring a shovel, your vehicle and all the excitemt you can muster! It’s gravel!
Thank you.
34. Fill My Valence Electron Shell – Western Mass [Link]
Date: 2008-08-02, 8:33PM EDT
A little about me: My name is Selenium, but you can just call me Se. I take good care of myself–78.96 amu and disease free. I’ve been ionized before, but I’m not really into that anymore.
I’m looking for someone to really bond with. Covalently. I want to be in a truly stable relationship. Do you have what I need?
I’m not just looking for another Bromine. I want someone who will treat me like a princess and together we can become noble.
33.Beautiful Persian or Ugly Husband – Houston [Link]
Date: 2008-08-01, 2:57PM CDT
I have a hard decision to make. I have a lovely, wonderful, super sweet, full blooded bi-color persian. I also have a dirty, smelly, lazy, no good for nothing husband. I love my kitty but my husband, who might I ad smells far worse than her litter box at times, does not. Therefore, one has to go. Should probably be my kitty but if I can find a good home for my husband I will be up for offers on him as well. The kitty, she is around 2 I think and is white with orange spots. She is very flat faced and NOT spayed or declawed. She is very vocal and likes to complain about and scratch my husband. She does not however, scratch myself or my kids, even when they pull her out from under my bed by her tail. She likes to be in the middle of things, AND I MEAN EVERYTHING, which makes my husband complain about her.
Now about the husband, he is not fixed or declawed either. He is not nearly as potty trained as the cat, constantly missing and making a mess. He is not as clean as the cat nor does he bathe himself. Husband is 30 and likes to break things while being careless and not paying attention to what he is doing. The cat is quite graceful and never knocks anything over or down. The kitty’s name is Sassy and she is free to a great home. The husband, is available for the cost of a divorce.
32. FS/FT 2001 A4 Avant 1.8Turbo 5 speed Quattro-Boss Machine-mad pics yo – Cinncinnati [Link]
Date: 2008-07-30, 5:51PM EDT
Tired of not getting any respect when merging into traffic with your prius?
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
Your Yuppie friends will love it because its an Audi Station Wagon, your Red Neck Cousins will love it because its boss as boss can be.
No one will ever make fun of you for driving this car.
its has under 175K miles WOW!
Tired of getting 12mpg in your 4×4 truck? but too hard on vehicles to buy a new car? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. I’ve taken all the stress of owning something nice out of the equation – run your car into anything you like and get 28MPG WHILE YOU DO IT>
can you imagine the LOOK ON YOUR BOSS’S FACE when you park this thing next to his new BMW in the company lot?
Can you Imagine picking up dates in this thing?! (her mom will flip her s**te) get that bad boy draw without the criminal record, BUY MY CAR!
You may think this is too good to be true, but its not – Call me – Come see the car. I LIVE IN THE UNITED STATES (I even live in cincinnati) you can come shake my hand if you want to.
“but how are you selling your audi at the low low price of $1300?!”
Thats a good question . . . you see, you can get this car without wheels, front bumper, roof rack, or speakers for $1300!
THIS CAR IS GREAT FOR PARADES
BUT YOU CAN EVEN BUY THE WHOLE CAR! for $2500obo
31. If I were a prize on a game show 
– SF Bay Area [Link]
Date: 2002-01-09, 4:16PM PST
CONGRATULATIONS!
YOU COULD DATE THIS GUY!!!
Yes that’s right folks, imported straight out of the midwest, it’s Matt! He’s 6 feet tall, with chest length blonde hair and blue eyes. He’s a Capricorn, likes camping and outdoor activities, and even likes to read!
In his spare time you can find him racing his jeep over mountain ranges to the beach which beakons him relentlessly, or you might find him on his motorcycle trying to find the elusive perfect chinese food restaurant.
But wait! There’s more!
This guy can cook (or at least knows how to pretend to), has a full set of fingers and toes, and can even play the Dijareedoo.
Now you might ask, How can I get ahold of this great guy? You might think you’d have to climb a mountain, swim a river, give up a first born child, even listen to Kenny G.?? *GASP*
But alas, all you really need to do is click on the email address listed conveniently above.
Happy trails, and hope to hear from you!
30. Space Alien – SF Bay Area [Link]
Date: 2002-01-07, 8:44PM PST
Space Alien looking for human female subject for scientific experimenation – maybe more. I’m looking for a woman who wants more than capture, probe, mind wipe and release.
I’m 9′ tall, grey skin, gills, long smooth tentacles with lots of suckers, cold slimy skin and green eyes. Most women find me attractive! I’m easy going and have a great sense of humor. If you mind meld with me you’ll know that. I haven’t been in a serious relationship in over 100,000 years – but I think I’m ready again.
I like to spend a romantic evening soaking in a nice big tub of warm brine and have someone to mind meld with and rub my tentacles – touching – feeling – especially the 9th tenacle – if you know what I mean. — hmmmmmm — ;;-))
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