70 Of The Weirdest Craigslist Posts
Amit Chowdhry | Saturday January 30, 2010 | 22,424 views| 1 Comment29. rocketship/boat/race car/fort/house/time machine – Austin [Link]
Date: 2008-06-03, 7:03PM CDT
please come pick up our gently used rocketship/boat/race car/fort/house/time machine. don’t spend your 600 stimulus clams on your kids. give dubya the finger while you invest it and get them this!!
it will be gone by thursday if no responses. i am 6’3″ so it is obviously big enough to fly to the moon, cross the atlantic, win the indy 500, defend against invading raiders, do fake home remodeling projects, or travel back in time to tell your parents you don’t want a crappy box.
28. Unicycle Lawnmower – Kenosha-Racine [Link]
Date: 2008-07-17, 2:40PM EDT
Looking for a more out of the box way to excersize. Be the coolest guy on your street cutting the lawn with this bad boy. you can save gas and get those rock hard abs you always wanted. This bike will cut your grass to emaculate conditions. It comes stock with this excentric two tone seat. The rust on the mower gives it an antique look that will have the cat lady next door going wild for your loins. For Ten extra dollars i can throw in a basket and headlight. Is your kid bouncing off the walls, ile even throw in some training wheels so you can put that bastard to work. This model is a three speed so you can really tear it up. Do your neighbor kids have an annoying bike ramp in the streets all the time. well snag that sucker and set it up infront of your trees, this bad mother will easily catch 6-7 feet of air allowing you to trim those troubling branches, as well as demolishing the ramp into oblivion so those damn kids wont be gathering infront of your house to practice for the x games. Comes with your choice of 12/40 oz beer holder that doubles as an ash tray.
27. Winnebago/Legand Cat Pro fishing boat will not seperate – Des Moines [Link]
Date: 2008-07-20, 11:05PM CDT
27ft winnebago with Legand cat 24ft fishing boat, will not seperate, motor home need some brake work and little body work. boat stored partially inside.
26. FREE INDUSTRIAL SIZED WOODEN SPOOL – Knoxville [Link]
Date: 2008-05-05, 10:01AM EDT
I have a large spool i would like removed from my property.
I no longer have any need for said spool due to coming home from work several hours early and finding my wife on top of said spool with another man.
If you have any need for this spool email me and I will send you the address for the spool. You may come pick up the spool at any time. No questions asked. No need to call ahead. No need to dress up or clean your truck up because it will only be you and the spools out there.
You pull up, load the spool, and leave. The spool in question is marked with a red X. You may only take this spool. I want to keep the rest of them.
25. PINK PLASTIC LAWN FLAMINGOS – Colo Springs
Date: 2008-04-17, 2:31PM MDT
three pink plastic lawn flamingos, the momma, the daddy and two
babies. in good shape except the momma has a bullet hole. will
trade for a good dog or weed eater, will also consider any kind
of alcohol as long as it ain’t been opened up.
24.Nonfuncnional Organic lawn mower – Flagstaff [Link]
Date: 2008-04-05, 10:52AM MST
Free to a needy yard, one, two year old grumpy, mean and annoying so called minature goat, needs work, It won’t eat weeds but will eat your shrubs and flowers,Is anti-social, which means that he does nothing but scream at you every time you go outside. The only time he’s friendly is when your feeding him. He bullies his brother around. Really isn’t too smart, he gets his head stuck in my fence almost on a daily bais, which has to be cut to remove him.
The reason I’m getting rid of him is because after two years of trying, I realized I’m not a tree hugger and would rather mow my weeds than wait for the stupid goat to eat them.
Now that you know what to expect from him, and your still interested keep in mind that I will not give him to someone just to make tacos out of. I want him to go somewhere to be a companion to a horse, or someone thats willing to put in the time to make him tame & friendly. He is cut so the billy goat thing isn’t an issue.
Below are a couple of pic’s including his head stuck,and a pic of his replacement.
Thanks, Steve (928)###-####
23. CATBUS – Albany [Link]
Date: 2008-03-28, 1:15PM EDT
I HAVE A 1995 MO’ VAN THAT GOT TRANSFORMED INTO THIS CATBUS. I BROUGHT IT TO A SHOPS AND I WAS LIKE HEY, CAN YOU TURN THIS INTO A CATBUS? SO THEY DID. THEN THAT DAY I DROVE IT HOME. THE CAT BUS ONLY HAS 50K, WHICH ARE ALL HIGHWAY MILES AS I DROVE IT TO WORK 2 DAYS A WEEK AND THAT WAS IT. IT’S IN REALLY GOOD SHAPE AND ALL THE FUR IS STILL ALL THERE. THE STEERING WHEEL HAS A CAT ON IT. IM ONLY ASKING 2900 FOR THE CATBUS BECAUSE ITS REALLY FURRY AND SOMETIMES PEOPLE GET SICK ON IT.
22. Carton Of Irregular Cat Hats – San Diego [Link]
Date: 2008-02-07, 11:01AM PST
Hello. I have a big box of used cat and kitten hats that I have collected over the years for various occasions. As of recently my cat, Snowman, is no longer living and thus I am forced to get rid of these precious memories. I would not feel right asking money for them so I am offering the whole box for free. There are many styles from formal to cute and funny.
21. I want some orange juice – Greensboro [Link]
Date: 2009-01-07, 10:08PM EST
I’ll give you $2 + cost if you’ll deliver me some orange juice with receipt. I’m too lazy to get it myself. I live right by University Drive in Elon. Thank you.
20. A reflection of entropy – Washington DC [Link]
Date: 2005-02-28, 10:22PM EST
It’s that time again. I have had 5 free minutes, and a mystery worth pondering. This time it’s big. This time it’s personal. This time it’s… The mystery of my torn underwear. Ok, we all know that underwear tears and needs replacing every so often. However, it is how it tears that bothers me. Take a look below at the evidence.
Notice the hole forming in the front of the underwear. What is that? All my underwear tears in this same place. Logically thinking, one would expect the greatest wear and tear on the back of my underwear. I sit on my butt, which is covered by the back of my underwear. So why isn?t the back torn? What could possibly be wearing out the front of my underwear? I don?t have anything up front that could possibly do this. Really.
I compiled a list of suspects.
Suspect #1:
The dryer.
This suspect is violent, and indiscriminant. I would expect such behavior from this beast; however it is not intelligent or consistent. When it destroys, it leaves no pattern of any kind. Therefore, I conclude that this is not the source of my underwear destruction.
Suspect #2:
Bad white cat
She’s fluffy. She’s cute. She’s sweet. Sometimes she’ll even turn on you, and show you her “bad side.” She chews on plastic bags like there is no tomorrow. She rubs on black things. Alas, she does not go for underwear though, even if it’s black. Nor does she have access to my skivvies on any kind of regular basis. Her alibi is air tight.
Suspect #3:
Quantum singularity.
Imagine this, an infinite number of tiny quantum singularities, and many of them find their way into my underwear drawer. Imagine the incredible forces they would unleash, not to mention the damage they could do to my unmentionables. While this is an interesting and well thought out theory, there are two factors that invalidate this concept. The first is that this would warp the gravitational field around my dresser, making it impossible to get dressed in the morning. This is an excuse for getting out of work, but unfortunately this has not happened. The next fact is that frequently my clean underwear gets left mixed in the laundry basket with my other clothes for days; yet my underwear still gets torn. Therefore, it cannot be a singularity causing my torn underwear.
Suspect #4
Angry ninja roommate
Well, she wouldn’t waste time on my underwear. She would just put holes in me. Besides, she is just too busy breaking the home network to have time to tear holes in my undies. So it’s not her.
Suspect #5
Garden gnome organized crime.
Maybe I missed the point altogether. Maybe, I should have focused on a more criminal element. I have neglected making my payments to the gnome’s “protection fund” all this time. Maybe I have angered them and just need to pay up. Maybe it’s not the gnomes at all; maybe it?s the ducks. I always get those two confused.
Conclusion:
I have none. I still haven’t the faintest idea why my underwear tears in the front each and every time. If anyone has any enlightening ideas, email me.
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