70 Of The Weirdest Craigslist Posts
8. An Open Letter to the Guy riding a High-Bike – Minneapolis [Link]
Date: 2007-02-20, 11:24PM CST
Dear Guy on a Really High Seated Bike,
Why must you ride your high seated bike around town? Will not a normal bike do? Are you looking for attention? Did your parents not hold you enough as a baby? Perhaps you want to join the circus.
Guy seated on a really high bike. What moves you so to ride perched so high in the sky? Is it you wanting to look down in disdain at the people below? And how do you seat yourself on such a high mount? Need you a ladder? A jetpack? What happens when you stop?
I despise you on-a-high-seated-bike man. You attention-seeking cyclist. You do not amuse me. You do not amaze me. I am not fascinated by your high bike. I ignore you.
If I had a stick, I would stick it in your spokes. Oh, then how you would fly — an Icarus on wheels, traveling too close to the sun. And what glee would shine upon me, when I witnessed you tumbling down to the Earth below.