René Sonneveld is a leadership and family-business coach and educator who previously held international C-suite and board roles (including CEO/Managing Director/Chairman) across Europe and the Americas. Pulse 2.0 interviewed Sonneveld to learn more.
What Was Seen In Boardrooms?
You had a successful international banking career before coaching. What did you see in those boardrooms and family enterprises that made you shift your life’s work? Sonneveld said:
“During my banking career, I worked with some of the world’s largest business families. The numbers looked strong, the strategies polished, the structures sound. Yet what truly held them back was never on the agenda. The elephant in the room was always there: resentment, mistrust, unspoken expectations.”
“I realized family enterprises cannot thrive on technical solutions alone. They need courage and skills to confront the emotional undercurrents that shape trust, succession, and legacy. That truth came into sharp focus with a family in Chile. In the middle of governance discussions, a raw conflict surfaced. An older family member told me that what they needed was someone to help them navigate their emotions. In that moment, I saw my responsibility in a new light.”
“That was the turning point. Wealth and power do not shield families from vulnerability. They put it under a brighter spotlight. That realization pushed me to study what truly drives human behavior, and ultimately to step fully into coaching.”
Changing The Course
You’ve coached leaders handling billion-dollar transitions and family conflicts. Can you share one moment where the coaching conversation truly changed the course of a business or family? Sonneveld shared:
“I once worked with a family from Dubai where a father and son clashed over modernizing the business. What started as a strategic debate quickly turned personal. Meetings grew tense, employees were caught between competing instructions, and even suppliers began to doubt the family’s stability.”
“At its core, the struggle was about identity. The father feared modernization would erase his life’s work and felt his very sense of self was under threat. The son felt sidelined and undervalued. In our coaching sessions, we created a space where both could see each other’s perspective and understand each other’s feelings. The father began to view modernization as an extension of his legacy, and the son learned to voice his ideas in a way that could be heard.”
“That shift transformed both the family and the company.”
Describing Your Coaching
If I asked one of your clients to describe your coaching in a single sentence, what would they say? Sonneveld noted:
“He shows me the mirror with heart and backbone, helping me face what I already know I must do.”
What Leaders Do Not Admit
What’s the hardest thing leaders don’t admit they’re struggling with and how do you help them face it? Sonneveld pointed out:
“The hardest thing for leaders is to be authentic and true to their values. Too often they slip into roles shaped by what others expect from them instead of leading from who they really are.”
“I coached a senior executive who felt pressured to be the charismatic, commanding type of leader, giving big speeches and energizing a room. But that was not her. Her real strengths were deep listening, thoughtful decision-making, and strategic thinking. Through our work she realized she did not need to imitate anyone else. She could lead with her own voice, anchored in her strengths. That gave her both confidence and freedom, and her team felt the difference immediately.”
Coaching Across 4 Continents
You’ve coached across four continents. How has that shaped the way you read people and adapt your methods? Sonneveld noticed:
“Even though people in different countries may have different ways of getting from A to Z, they all share the same deep human feelings: pride, fear, love, ambition, and the longing to be seen. What changes is how those feelings are expressed. In the Netherlands, directness is valued. In Japan, silence carries weight. In Latin America, relationships come before decisions. In North America, speed and clarity are prized.”
“Working across four continents has taught me to pay attention not just to what is said but to how it is expressed. I listen for the pauses, the tone, the unspoken. I adapt by respecting the local rhythm while staying anchored in what is universal: the need for trust, belonging, and meaning.”
Meaningful Milestone
You’ve written a bestselling book, sat on the ICF global board, and coached elite athletes, what’s been the most meaningful milestone for you personally, not just professionally? Sonneveld cited:
“The easy answer would be to mention my five children, who are without question my greatest joy. But if I am honest, the most meaningful milestone was finding a way forward after the loss of my first wife. That experience shaped me more than any professional role ever could.”
“It changed how I coach and how I live. It gave me a deeper sense of empathy and taught me that strength is not about holding it all together but about finding a way forward when life unravels. That milestone has marked me most, not only as a professional, but as a human being.”
Emotions As A Threat
In your book The Elephant in the Family Room, you write that the biggest threats to family businesses aren’t markets but emotions. How does that play out in your coaching room? Sonneveld pointed out:
“In The Elephant in the Family Room I wrote that the biggest threats to family businesses are not markets but emotions. That is exactly what I see in my coaching room. Families often show up with technical problems, but underneath are emotional ones: resentment between siblings, expectations never spoken, a father afraid to let go.”
“I coached a founder who had built a very successful business. He told everyone he was ready to step back, but when the time came, he could not. He still came into the office every day, second-guessing his daughter’s decisions. The succession plan looked perfect on paper, but emotionally nobody had transitioned.”
“The leaders who do it well start years earlier. They mentor, they share decision-making, they allow the next generation to fail in small ways and learn. And just as importantly, they work on themselves, on their identity beyond the company.”
“Succession done well is not about who gets the corner office. It is about dignity for the outgoing leader and legitimacy for the incoming one.”
Know How The Coaching Worked
When a client ‘graduates’ from your coaching, what’s the sign you know it worked? Sonneveld highlighted:
“With an individual client, I know the coaching has worked when they no longer need me to hold the space. They have found clarity and rhythm, along with the confidence to move forward. The sign is visible in braver choices, a stronger sense of self, and the feeling that the goals set at the start of the journey have been reached. Just as important, there is a clear strategy to sustain those gains into the future.”
“With a family, it is different. I know the work has landed when they reconnect with each other in a deeper way. They become prepared to see another’s viewpoint and to understand one another’s feelings, not just the positions they take. Resentment softens, conversations grow more genuine, and they create forums where they can meet and talk honestly. The true graduation moment is when those forums continue without me, when the habit of meaningful conversation becomes part of their culture.”
Leadership Blind Spots
With AI, wealth transitions, and global uncertainty, where do you see the biggest leadership blind spots right now? Sonneveld revealed:
“AI, wealth transitions, climate, and global uncertainty all mean that complexity and uncertainty have gone up. That puts leaders and their people under constant pressure.”
“The biggest blind spot I see is that too many leaders still believe they can power through alone, relying on old models of authority or control. The ones who succeed today are those who connect.”
“They bring people together across boundaries, link ideas, and build ecosystems of talent and trust. They are able to hold the short term and the long term at once, while creating a culture that can learn and adapt.”
Unlocking Hidden Strength
Some people think coaching is about fixing weaknesses. You argue it’s about unlocking hidden strength. What makes your approach different? Sonneveld assured:
“Coaching is about unlocking hidden strengths, not fixing perceived weaknesses.”
“As leaders, we all carry our own stories. I call them the good, the bad, and the ugly. Our experiences, the wins and the mistakes, shape how we lead. But coaching is not about telling people what to do. We do not diagnose, prescribe, or lecture.”
“Instead, we create space. Space for people to discover their own answers, reach their own goals, and grow into their own style of leadership. At its core, coaching is about being of service, believing in the client’s potential, and helping them bring forward what is already inside them. For me it comes down to three words: service, partnership, and trust.”
Impact
If we talk again in five years, what impact do you hope to have made in the world of leadership and family enterprises? Sonneveld concluded:
“With the publication of my book, I hope to create a ripple effect. I want it to open conversations in families and in boardrooms about what really drives success and what holds it back.”
“In five years, I would like to see more family enterprises where people talk openly, are prepared to understand each other more deeply, and where leadership is defined less by control and more by connection. If the book, together with my coaching, can spark those conversations and make them part of the culture, that is the impact I want to leave.”
